Bittersweet Mother's Day

Today was kind of a hard day.  I knew it was Mother's Day, but last week I realized that today would be the day that the baby we miscarried was due.  What a terrible gift for today. I am not grateful that this date fell on Mother's Day and I cannot take this in any other way but with sadness.  I am so grateful that I will see my baby again someday and that I will be able to raise this baby and be it's mother.  I couldn't help but cry in sacrament meeting because we sang I Stand All Amazed and it just got to me.  I tried not to cry all day, but that just did me in.  I haven't wanted to think about the baby all day because it will just make me so sad to think about.

I am so grateful that I have my sweet little Braeden to keep me on my toes all the time.  I was having a hard time at church, but I went to grab my little guy from nursery and he had a Mother's Day card for me.  It was the sweetest thing in the world and all I could do was smile.  I am so glad I have my little man and that he makes me laugh, and cry and sad when he is sad, and full of unconditional love.  I am also SO grateful that in 17 weeks we will have another little man around the house.  I can't wait to see what this little guy is like and what his personality will be like.  I am so glad that Braeden will have a friend to hang out with and help with.  Yesterday Braeden was playing with Elmo and he told me Elmo was hungry, so he put his sippy cup in Elmo's mouth and made him drink.  It was hilarious and I just imagined Braeden doing that to the baby.  He is going to be a great helper.  I am so grateful on this Mother's Day to be a mother and all that comes with it.  The many adventures that we like and dislike. I am so blessed and I need to remember that.  I wish you all a Happy Mother's Day and I thank all of the mothers that I know out there.  Thanks for all of your hard work and tender loving care.  I would like to especially thank my mom and Ben's mom for raising us in the gospel and helping us grow up so that we can be good people, and for sacrificing everything for us.  We are so thankful for you both and love you so much!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!