It has Been a LONG Time!

   Wow, it has been a really long time since I have posted a blog. Things have been completely insane since we have moved. My family packed up our home in Mountain Home, ID July 23th. I left later that night after the moving truck was packed and drove through the night to get to my parents in Utah. Ben and his dad left at midnight to drive 44 hours to Texas. They had a very long trip. He will have to write a post on his blog about that. I had a great time with my family, but it was also very sad. After a week, Ben flew out to Utah and we left to drive two days to Missouri. It was a long trip and too many hours in the car. We finally got to Missouri to spend some time with Ben's family. Then it was time to load up and drive two days to Texas.
   When we arrived at Texas we were so glad to be there. As I was unloading the kids, Ben came out and told me, "well most of our stuff is here." We were worried about it the whole time we were gone, so I thought he was kidding. Well, he wasn't kidding at all. Thieves came in through the back window and took a ton of stuff out of the garage. It seems like a distant memory...it was three months ago. I was okay after that and I really wasn't scared. Life went on and Ben started his fellowship. He has been gone a lot. Our ward here is great and we love it. I have made some great friends and we have lunch at least once a week and let the kids play. Braeden started preschool twice a week and he loves it. I am so proud of him.
   About a month ago, I went to my friends house for lunch. The boys and I came home to find something that will change my life forever. We had been having some issues with people popping out screens and I was okay with that. I actually didn't worry. When I walked in from lunch with my friend I saw the back door wide open and glass everywhere. Someone had been in my house after they threw a brick in our back door. I immediately called the cops and they told me to go outside. As I walked outside (shaking, crying, scared to death)...I saw that the light in our room was on. Someone was up there. I took the kids out in front of our house and waited for the cops. Normally that would be okay, but it was 100 degrees outside and the cops took 1 hour and 15 minutes to show up. I wasn't a top priority. My husband actually made it home before the cops showed up. He was 30 minutes away and had to drive through traffic.
  The cops showed up and had to go inside to secure the premises. They came back out and said that no one was in there anymore. I was able to go inside and see what was missing and the extent of the damage. I went up to my room and it was trashed. The mattress was off the bed, sheets off, my jewelry box empty and trashed and smashed everywhere, things thrown everywhere, dresser drawers empty and thrown everywhere, my temple clothes on the floor, etc. I was devastated. Ben put Emerson in his room to have a nap...he was out thank heavens. Braeden just played with his toys in the front room while I had an (almost heart attack). I couldn't breath. Someone had taken away so much from us...nothing was taken this break-in because I literally came in on this person and scared them to death. My jewelry was put in a bag and still on the bed...my laptop and external hard drive were put in a pillowcase and we found that under everything. NOTHING was taken. We were so blessed in that way. All that night and the next day I couldn't go into closets or look behind shower curtains because I was so terrified that someone would be in them or behind them.If I would have come home from my friends house any earlier, I would have been home when the thief broke in, and if I would have come home and later...our stuff would have been gone.  Heavenly Father protected us in that way. I hate that all of this happened, but He was watching out for us. Why this had to happen...I will never know. It still makes me sick thinking about it. That night after it happened, we had a dear friend from our ward come over and bless our home for safety and give Braeden and I a blessing. It helped, but I was still a wreck.
   Ben told me that I should go stay in Utah for a while with my family. I immediately called my mom and asked her if I could pay for a flight out to Texas and then she would drive back to Utah with me. Everything worked out that she could to that...so we stayed in Albuquerque, NM on base. It was so nice to feel secure again. Then the next day we finally made it to Utah! I stayed for three weeks and had to go back. I was a nervous wreck. I was getting severe migraines because things were not okay. My sister Kim drove back with us and stayed here in Texas for a few days. It was great to have her here. Last Tuesday she went back to Utah and we miss her terrible. When I realized I had to go back home all by myself after we dropped her off at the airport, I was not okay. I was scared to death. I put off going home for a while. We went shopping and finally the boys go too tired we had to go home. I walked in the house shakily and no one was there. Ahhh...one day down. I sat at home and felt like I was on watch the whole time I was there. I still do that and it is sickening. I hate it. We got a dog and his name is Tucker. He is a basset hound/beagle mix. I wasn't sure about a dog, but I LOVE him and he is so sweet. He keeps watch for us in ways we cannot. He is adorable and the kids love him. He loves them too!
  As for my recovery from this...I am still on high alert. I cannot sleep much at night, and naps are out of the picture for a while unless Ben is here. When Ben is here, I am fine. I feel almost back to normal. We are good together...but when I have to leave and come back alone I get scared. I know my dog is there and the doors are locked, but they were last time too! Nothing is safe. We have done a few things to secure our home a little better, but we cannot get barred windows or anything like that. I have a lot of things I am going to need to work out and get better on, but I feel like I can sit on the couch now without worrying a brick is going to fly through my back door. That is major progress. I still imagine the worst things that could have happened, and what could happen now. It is not good. I fix that with daily vocal prayer, lots of prayers through the day, a prayer when we leave the house, and daily scripture study. I could not do anything without my Heavenly Father. He literally has his arms around my comforting me. He knows what I feel and he is trying to love me and help me feel better.
   Now we are working on getting our lives back to somewhat normal and focusing on the things that matter the most. My boys have done amazing through all of this and I cannot believe how strong they are. I love them so much! Emerson turned one and I will post about that next.

Thank you to all of those who cared so much about us during our hard time and we love you so much and you are not forgotten.