Blogging, Baby E

I have decided to start blogging again, because a year and a half since my last post is pretty ridiculous. I rarely have time to sit down and write in a journal, so I might as well sit down and type. I was going through my blog the yesterday and there are so many memories that my mind has forgotten. Without those pictures and videos, and words...I would have forgotten. It makes me really sad that I have lost memories from the last year and a half, but I am not going to let that happen again.

I am 9 months pregnant at this very moment. I have four days left until my baby girl comes into the world. It has been a VERY long and painful pregnancy. Not many people understand. With my Chiari, everything has been so much harder and more painful. Headaches have stayed the same, but I have had pain in everywhere else in my body. It has been really hard to function, and sleeping has been non-existent for months because of my lower body pains and pressures. My right leg has been severely swollen for months which makes it hard to walk and sleep. There are days, that I have to take it really really easy...and not to mention I have to watch for blood clots.

I have only gained 15 pounds more that my normal starting weight this pregnancy. I was really really sick for the first few months and with this being a girl, I guess I just haven't gained as much. That will be nice for after baby E is born.

I have had to go to soooo...many appointments this pregnancy and I am considered high risk. We didn't even know if I was going to be able to get pregnant, so baby E is definitely a miracle. I have had to see my neurologist, high risk maternal fetal medicine and a regular OB. Which means at least double appointments. It has been really neat to see this princess every month on an ultrasound and see how much she grows each month. It truly is a miracle. At my last ultrasound two weeks ago, she was weighing in at 6 pounds 12 ounces give or take a pound. She is going to be a normal weight baby. That is a big thing for me since this pregnancy has been so hard.

Another way this pregnancy is different is the delivery method. I am not having a normal vaginal delivery. There will be no waiting until contractions come or my water breaks. I am having a scheduled c-section under general anesthesia. I have tried to keep my feelings about this under wraps, but maybe someday my baby girl will read this and want to know how I was feeling.

I go in Friday morning at 4:45 for my appointment at 5am. I will be admitted and my surgery will probably be at 7. I will be prepped with all of the IV goodies and a catheter and all of that good stuff. In the surgery room, I will be given general anesthesia, and be intubated. I think  that is the scariest and saddest part for me. I will not be able to see my sweet baby girl be born, or get to hold her right away. People keep telling me it will be okay and that I will get to see her, but that doesn't make it any better. I am so happy that Ben will be there to love on her first and see her. When I am coming out of the anesthesia, Ben will be there with my sweet baby girl and that will help some. I cannot have a spinal or epidural because of all of the complications with my chiari and the cerebral spinal fluid and the inter-cranial pressures. They don't want to put anything into my back and frankly, I don't want them to. I am not supposed to push for the same reasons. A c-section will be very different. I haven't been able to walk without pain for a long time, so many I will have my c-section and feel so much better. It will definitely not be the easy way out though.

I am so thankful that I get to have one more special angel in our family. We will not be able to do this again. That has also been another thing that has been hard this time around. This is my last baby. Everything I am doing will be my last. My last newborn baby. Those moments at the beginning that seem so fly by so fast. I am going to soak them in, breastfeed as long as I can...(that is, if the surgery doesn't mess all that up), love and snuggle her as long as I can. I have definitely spoiled her. Not just because she is a girl and girls are a lot of fun to shop for, but also because she is my last sweet miracle. Adoption my be an option later down the road. We will see. We have four children in our eternal family and I am so happy about that. I love my boys, I can't wait to see my girl, and our sweet angel watching over us from above.

Baby E has been a mover from the very beginning. She is constantly moving. She definitely lets me know she is there. With the boys, they kicked...HARD! With her, she is just a gentle constant mover. I love feeling her in my belly, and I am trying to enjoy it as long as I can. Capturing the moments in my mind and heart of what it feels like to have a sweet baby inside of my belly. I am so grateful of the blessing that Heavenly Father gave me to be a mother. To be able to carry these sweet babies of His. It is a blessing I don't take for granted. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me so much!